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Opportunity Cost

I’ve been a pretty lucky person these past few years. I’ve had multiple life-changing surgeries in world-class hospitals, I live in a country where most of my medical costs are covered by the government, and I’ve been able to use the majority of my paid sick leave guilt free! But the thing no one tells you when you get sick is how boring it is.

I’ve spent far more time playing games and watching Netflix than an adult should be allowed to. It might not surprise many, but sitting around doing nothing gets old. It might be a little different if every day was like a weekend and everyone else you knew had time to spare or if I were more proactive and planned my days a little better, but life’s just not that fair.

To be honest, this time around has been better than most. With the bag, I have sooo much more freedom than I’ve had after other hospital admissions. Now, I’m usually able to go for a few walks or I’ll have check-ups or appointments to keep me busy. Last week I started back at work, although even that is only 3 days a week for the moment. The hope is to get back to full-time as soon as I can because now the post-op pain is all but gone I feel like my days are being wasted stuck inside. The most excitement I’ve had today has been seeing one of the cats catch and eat a fly.

It certainly doesn’t help that I’m inherently lazy. I’m sure if I tried hard enough I could find something proactive and enjoyable to do every day, but we live in a non-commital society where plans change every minute and the everpresent FOMO forcing our generation to forsake opportunities for meaningful social interaction in hopeless anticipation of something better make forward-thinking irrelevant. That, and turning on the TV is just really easy.

Seriously though, too much time away from normal life is bad. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell yourself you’ll just read more books or get started on that online course you bought 6 months ago or do anything that involves the movement of limbs, there’s a massive chance that if you didn’t do it today, you’re not going to do it tomorrow. So the advice to future me is to stop saying you’ll do stuff and go do it, or at least do something that means you have to put pants on.

On the health front though, everything is pretty good. Just waiting for the outpatients appointment with my gastro surgeon in a few weeks time to find out when I get the stoma taken down. Still pretty anxious about that part given how great things have been with a bag, but I’m also looking forward to being around people without them having to wonder whether I’m pooping. The answer is always yes.

1 Comment

  1. Jason

    I can so relate to this post. Great to hear you are getting back to (another version of) normal. Keep writing and keep fighting.

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